I like to put on a regular smiling face when I'm hurt. I don't like people to worry or to ask what's wrong with me. I'm starting to look at the brighter things in life. I'm trying my best to stay positive in this current situation I'm in. I'm not taking this lightly, but I'm not taking this too seriously. This shit I'm dealing with is life or death, and I'm talking about it like it's no big deal. I may not be here in the next 5 years or so and I'm trying to fix that. I'm gonna live till I'm 90. Mark my words, I will live through this. I want to. I have to.

I've lost faith in this friendship.

I don't fucking need you anyways, I don't have time to worry about this shit.

Fuck this bullshit.

You’re my best friend. Or, I thought you were. Then you disappeared out of my life. I’ve been seeing things around with you going out and all that shit with new friends. I’m happy for you that you found some friends to keep you busy cause I remember you telling me something how you needed to get out of the house more and how you’re bored with your life. It’s good that you’re going out and all that, even if it means excluding me. It seems to me that once you found a good mode of transportation everywhere, you found new friends. But it’s okay, I’ll just sit here and watch as the friendship that we had for three fucking years just falls apart. You know, I’m cool with that. Heh, not like it matters to you, right? Of course it doesn’t, you’ll just pick up some friends and go on an adventure at 3am till whenever cause you have a car and all.

Fuck that shit, I miss the fuck out of you. When was the last time we genuinely hung out? 2-3 months ago? When _____ came down to visit and how you only stayed for fucking 1 hour saying that “11 o’clock is late and it’s a Saturday” and you have to go home? I thought you usually came home at around 4am sometimes and you’re gonna go home at 11?! How the fuck can you say that you have no time when you are out of the house 24/7 picking people up and dropping them off like you’re a fucking taxi? That’s bullshit. I’m tired of this shit.

Wow.

My sister just came into my room to ask me what was wrong. I love how I'm getting closer to my sisters.